How do you know if he’s serious about you? If he sees in you someone to spend the night with or someone to spend her whole life with? 10 sections to help you understand where you stand …
A few days ago I had a difficult conversation with a good friend. She “goes out” with a guy she defines as a partner, even though in my humble opinion he is not. This guy is someone she sometimes meets and sometimes she sleeps with. Someone who recently ended a serious relationship and made it clear to her in advance that even though she is truly sweet, he is not looking for a partner. I think it’s pretty obvious, but the problem is she does not really believe him.
Almost every day, I get angry and confused calls from her about things he did or did not do, things that a serious partner probably would not do. But since she defines this guy as a “partner” (at least in her head), she continues to be disappointed when he doesn’t live up to her expectations.
This distorted relationship made me realize that the definition of a couple is pretty loose and maybe it’s worth clarifying a few things. So for my girlfriend and for anyone who is in a similar situation, here are 10 sections to help you understand if the guy is serious about you:
- He holds your hand in public — Showing affection in this way is an expression of the connection between you. It is actually a better metric than a kiss or a hug, as these are mostly driven by strains and impulses while holding hands has a saying.
- He is usually where he says he is — that is, he is not lying and has nothing to hide from you.
- He usually introduces you to friends (and family members …) and they already know about you — that means he is not ashamed of you and does not leave you behind the scenes. It also means he talks about you out loud and that’s important.
- You have a definition — even if it’s just my soul or the girl I’m dating now, definition is an important section. If you’re just Shirley (or whatever your name is …) then what are you for him? And what is it for you? If you do not have a definition, your relationship is probably different from what you think or expect.
- He does not just arrive late at night and leave early in the morning — if his visits are purely, short and shallow matters, then so is your relationship.
- On weekends he makes sure to spend time with you, especially on Friday nights — weekends are a time to be together and Friday nights are a time to go out together. If he is not with you then where is he?
- You have a variety of means to contact him — a guy who is serious about you, will allow you to keep in touch with him in any way possible and not just over the phone.
- You spend time with him — and also stay asleep. If you do not spend the night there — who does?
- He answers the phones when you are next to him — again, it proves that he has nothing to hide and that he is not ashamed of you or ashamed of you.
- He calls you more than he sends text messages — if that does not happen, he is just playing with you.
Originally published at https://gonitz.com on September 12, 2020.